Dear Cheryl Cole,
I’m writing to let you know that I very much enjoyed your new video for “Call My Name” (enclosed for ease of reference). Have you thought of renaming the song “Cole My Name”? I have.
If you were to ask me to rate the video I’d definitely give the opening 51 seconds a perfect 10/10 and the rest of the video a near perfect 9.5/10.
Your pineapple coloured baggy trousers from Camden Market are particularly en vogue. Although I can’t help but notice you wear the trousers in one part of the video and when wearing the matching jacket you appear to have lost the trousers. I hope you find them again.
P.s. Have you considered changing your surname back to ‘Tweedy’? It’s more unique than ‘Cole’ or your new thing of not having a surname. Without a surname people might thing you are Cheryl Baker.