Dear Geri Halliwell,

Congratulations on recently registering an account on Twitter. I’m very grateful for your written messages of love, peace and hope on Instagram. It was a tough week but you’ve helped get me through. This message in particular struck a chord.

Anyway, enough prittle prattle. The reason for my letter to you is to ask whereabouts you filmed the Mi Chico Latino video? I enclose it below for ease of reference.

Only I’m off to Ibiza next week and would like to visit this historic pop spot. Due to the urgency a prompt, accurate and cheeky response would be much appreciated.

Send my love to George Michael.

Kind regards,

Jack Wallington