Dear Ms Nicki Minaj,

I write to you concerning a concerning concern. I am concerned.

Here’s the deal. I used to think Lady Gaga was 100% pushing the boundaries of pop. But you, Nicki Minaj, GURL, are making her look like 60% boundary pushing. Perhaps even 50%.

She is only at passport control while you’re sailing through to hotel check in on the back of a luggage cart. With no brakes. Waving. Waving at Gaga. And Madonna behind her of course. Way behind her.

So here is the crux. You, you Ms Minaj are WACK.

Wack in the amazatron sense. Your look is wack, your albums are wack and your tweets are even wacker. On the wackter scale you’re off the flippin’ charts bebé!

Riddle me this: if I thought Lady Gaga was extreme, and your extremeness desensitised me to meat dresses and weird horn prosthetics, to what level of loon does Lady Gaga now have to take it? Does she literally have to be mad?

I am not only concerned but also worried.

Kind regards,

Jack Wallington